It mind boggles me to see the things teenagers do these days under pressure.Academic pressure, broken families, broken relationships and peer pressure.I do agree that its not possible to understand their mental state but they should understand that running away from home or committing suicide is not the answer! There are much worse things out there...MUCH WORSE.There is so much of suffering and pain-a totally different world to us,who are oblivious to most of life's cruel ironies.
A week back, my dad's friend's sons ran away from home.One is around 16 years of age and the other one is around 13.The elder son ran away due to not being able to cope with academics.He had his 10th board exams to give and must have obviously freaked out last minute and thought it necessary to leave everything behind and run away.Influenced by this act, his younger brother did the same.
Isn't he supposed to be setting an example to his sibling?What is gained from all of this?Realising what a coward you are?Pushing away reality,tends to become a habit and soon, if you can't face one thing, you can never face anything.
Yes, there might be a major mental conflict going on in the person's head(avoidance-avoidance conflict...yes, I do remember my Psychology!STOP rolling your eyes Arshad!)Anyway, for those that do not know what avoidance-avoidance conflict is-Psychological conflict resulting from the necessity of choosing between two undesirable alternatives.
Damn, I can't believe I just defined something study related on my blog.Thats something I never thought I would do!
Anyway, did he ever stop and think what his parents might go through? His parents are going insane! They have searched the entire city and also went to Mumbai and searched there.They have reported the police too.
Where is the logic?He has no money, he has the responsibility of a minor(I hope he has the brains to realise that!).What will he do?I think thats a very stupid thing to do.Either face your fears or get help!Talk to someone! Nobody on the face of this earth is that anti-social that they do not communicate with other human beings.Trust me, I have met a lot of almost autistic people and even they have friends!Communication helps!I just hope he realises what a stupid mistake he has made.
31 comments:
mich..blog address changed to
withnowheretogo.blogspot.com
pls update it on the roll if it isn't too much trouble..thanks :)
p.s:why did u change the header..? it was so cool...
Hey Michele i do agree with what you said....
I agree, communication is the only and only way to solve all our problems.
But just try to see teh another face of the coin....
Now the point that i am going to tell is again a negative one but this can be one of the possibility and kant be ignored.
Not all of us have dare to run out of troubles and to start a new begining...that is agin i am sure will land you in much big troubles that you might be having earlier.
Yes, sometimes people do these things just because of an impulsive desire to run away from what they have. And Yes, this is a sign of pure cowardice but on the aother side a daring act too(sorry to say this a daring act).
And see , the point is that if those people will get success in their life then they kan be taken as a persons who had done whats was in their heart and the one who failed in that gets treated as FAILURES.
So bottom line is that:
"It doesnt matter what you are and what you have, the thing that matters at last is that, think before doing anything and seek proper communication. May be you will not get time to confess."
P.S : Some points mentioned here are not matched to my thinking but jotted down here just to portray the mindset of people who tends to run away from teh problems of their life.
I will pray for both the boys. I kan understand the position of their parents.
take care........
hey Mich ^_^ catchin' up w/ u... long time! goodluck for ur exams muaahh! Godbless....
cheers**
while you are right when you say that he should have set up an example for his younger sibling by acting responsibly...in cases like these..atleast as ar as I know, it is as much a fault of the parents as it is of the 'kids'.
it is upto the parents to inculcate an awareness of responsibility...
anyway, i dont really wish to preach on this topic...i have seen so many such cases and the reasons have been so complex...that its really difficult to place the blame on anyone.
btw, ur header pic is really awsm :-)
Are you sure it was just exams? :-) whom do you expect to be more responsible? he was the elder brother ok..but where were the "elders" when it came to helpin him out? a 16 year old otta be more responsible than his parents? :-) A coward? really ? think again :-)...he's probably just another solipsist (the only big word whose meaning i knw, n care bout).....:-p
hey i agree w/ sum of those ppl up there...its really the parenst who're responsible because at the end of the day u kno that its ur parents who want u do well...better than wat is ur capability and they put soo much pressure on the kid to do well (so that they can just exaggerate abt it to their family and friends) that the kid feels helpless and doesn't want to let his parents down...(event ho i'm sure running away has let them down too...)
First of all ABSO-F'in-LUTELY LOOOOVEE the new header!! :p :* nd i think everyone is faced with such situations in our lives but its the amount we percieve it to be un-resolvable(if thats a word lol) that pushes us over the limit the key here is to keep your cool and not think that theres no hope cuz i mean gimme a break how much of your life does 1 exam decide? honestly? if u keep cool and look at the bigger picture here it tends to become much more easier to handle such conflicts(i kno from personal experience LOL nd now u don roll ur eyes ;-) ) and to some extent it is upto the parents to let their kids kno that they'l support him no-matta what, u always need sm1 to tell u that their gna be thr for u kno matta how things turn out and thats what really keeps you going (again from personal experience ;-) :*) his poor parents mustve never imagined theyd face such a situation but here it is.. ahh well life's so un-predictable..c'est la vie lol mwah
hope the both of them realise life isnt lost yet and come back home
and again the new header pic is just WWWWOOOOOWWWW!!! :p mwwahh!!
=>lemony - i already changed it so no sweat ;-)
=>prashant - daring?in what way?this is not even close to being a rebel.Cause a rebel fights...he doesn't run away but thanks for ur views :)
=>kath - hey kath! long time! thanks a lot the exams r over :P
=>harshad - see maybe the reason for them running away 90% of the time is the parents.They pressurize the children and often the fear that develops in them leads to such things but in this case, his parents definitely do not pressurize him...ive seen it...i think i know the reason...its because he was so scared about failing himself, that he thought it better to run away from it all than go thru the trauma of failing.
=>slug - yep...it was just exams because he had failed in some exam in the past and the fear of failing this one just freaked him out...because those were just normal exams but this one was a very important exam.And even though without a doubt parent ARE to be blamed to a certain extent, are u saying there is no irresponsibility displayed on his part whatsoever?come on hes not 2, hes 16 i can understand if his little brother did it by himself...but influencing a mind that is yet to be moulded in the wrong way, is very very wrong on his part.
=>anahita - yes very true...although here, it seems to be more of a personal issue than a parental issue.Its got more to do with what 'he' feels than what his parents feel.And its not like his parents are bad people, i think the wise thing to do wud be to talk it out with them.If u can't talk to ur parents thats a different issue.But why give it up when u can?
=>ghanchakar - positive thinking! :-) me likey!
its the amount we percieve it to be un-resolvable(if thats a word lol) that pushes us over the limit
very true..losing never helps
and to some extent it is upto the parents to let their kids kno that they'l support him no-matta what, u always need sm1 to tell u that their gna be thr for u kno matta how things turn out and thats what really keeps you going (again from personal experience ;-) :*)
very true again! haha yes u always need that someone to talk u out of stupid decisions
******thank you guys for ur opinions! i hope he reads all this lol
Quite true... there are much worse things in life than class 10 board exams... like... er... class 11 exams in science? :P!
OK. Was kidding. But, to say the least, I'd say, that's a bad thing to do. It's quite idiotic, and I completely agree with you.
And, plus, you are doing a good thing. Maybe those two will read this {alright, I am fantasising.} and get the sense to head back home.
Also, they should've seen the new Mountain Dew ad...
"Darr ke aage jeet hai"!.
i read that CBSE helplines save around 20 kids from committing suicide each day.
scary isn't it?
but you can't really blame the kid and make him feel worse about it.
but both sons running away from home is definitely disheartening.
But you know, many superstars were born that way :P. To name some...Mithun Chakraborty, and this other guy who's equally loser like.
oh and lucky girl, your boards are over! damn got another 18 days or so of them. then i'll be a free bird for another 2 months. god knows what happens next.
and you work? hmm. as in a sort of a part time, pocket money earning thing? you're probably the first example im hearing of in india. that too in pune.
indian parents still think it's derogatory for the kids to work in supermarkets et al. and baby sitting is still a bit of a novelty here. let us not mention the study pressure too. most kids go mad balancing school, homework, friends...let alone a job.
what do you do anyways?
kids running away from home...I really dun blame the parents either...cos some real good parents end up with troubled kids, dun ask me how.
Hope they return w.o. any harm done on em. It's very sad.
Keshi.
=>PRINCE - lol come on! class 11 exams r a piece of cake :P
Also, they should've seen the new Mountain Dew ad...
"Darr ke aage jeet hai"!.
LOL
=>shayeri - heyy how ur exams going?yeah i know i got many frnds in CBSE...ends like end of march right? oh i would never work in like a supermarket or sumtin like u said my dad wud never let me hehe...i work for my dad...in fact hes into a lotta things so take care of one part of it.Hes into medical transcription so i do tht :) even tho im not medically inclined or watever its a fun job!n i won say its easy but it is fun and good money :P all the best for the rest of ur exams!
=>keshi - cos some real good parents end up with troubled kids, dun ask me how.
u said it! thats the case herE!
It can be the parents also at times who put loads of pressure on kids,and todays kids are more stressed out with academics and other social needs and boy oh boy,the kind of opportunities they have at such an young age,be it electronic gadgets or food or fun and entertainment that they get rather get confused and lost,at such an young age with no maturity too many choices make them naive and stupid to an extent,what to give and where to say No should be decided carefully by parents,no point blaming either parents or kids entirely,the responsibility lies with both sets.
and i love the header image,looks beautiful and i am adding your link to my list {finally}
Just look into it again..
I agree its not daring...But kan you do this.. like doing whats in you heart..always....Devil may care.....
Its better to provide a environment for children that helps them to develop in a better human being rather than giving them the examples of surrounding childrens and to imitate like them.
And coming to your point of fighting: Do you know about the fight that must be going on in the mind of that child when he left home. You kan say, he lost the mental fight. As simple as that.
This is insane .. !! but its not his fault entirely ... the society, schools and parents keep unrealistic goals in front of the children ... that they obviously freak out thinking "What if am not able to ..."
You know what I mean ...
Its parents who should understand the state of their children's mind ... this is all so hyped .. board exams and shit!!
And on the guys part .. well .. well ... he just needed some assistance ... it happens very often .. such nervous breakdowns, etc
Anyway .. I hope everything will be alright now.
Hey, thanks for sharing radioblog..
Thanks a lot....
ESCAPISM...
what we think... who we are... what they do.... what they dont do...
the wrongest question.. WHY...
the unanswered question... WHY NOT...
is this escapism? "NO" she cried.... "its my reality", from where i see it.... "you're the escapist"....
You go crazy researching camera phones but I have learnt to look at the world with my eyes...
Are all the wrong people the right ones???
Escapism is when we know the truth and still choose to ignore it.....
And who decides what truth is ??
=>alapana - hey! long time! yea true...thr shud be an environment where things r spoken about calmly...mebbe he the fact tht his frnds might do better than him might hav scared him...and thanks! for the header :)
=>prashant - yes, i can say tht i do end up doing things tht require 'courage' but its always different opinions...one thing tht I may find courageous, YOU might not...and running away instead of facing it definitely does not fall under my list of being a daredevil
=>loony - yeah again like i said...he was too scared to fail himself again...then again, arent we all?
=>prashant - ur welcome :)
=>akhtheshaq - very wise words :)
thrs where we use the phrase "we're all human after all"
Hey, i am not talking about you or your list FYI.
This is what you think about the situation and that guy but always be ready to see the situation from the prespective af all who are involved then only you will be able to judge them wisely.
Have you heard about the killing of 5 soldiers by their friend in recent news, so is this dare devil???? Well, Yes , i will say , to kill someone you need to have emtionless heart. But does tht means the killer dont have any emotions.
Answer is NO.
Then how come and under what circumstances he do that.
So not always what i am saying a daredevil is daredevil for all. But the point is that dont make decisions and assumptions on the basis of your own limited and rigid thinking.
If it sounds then rude then sorry.
But nothing meant to be personal, this is just what i think sometimes.
Enjoyyyyyyyyyy
But the point is that dont make decisions and assumptions on the basis of your own limited and rigid thinking.
is tht for him or me? lol cuz hes the one tht thinks his life is over because of one exam
Hey Michele:
Its for three of us: The guy, You and Me, infact its for all of us.
What you are essentially trying to say is that: The guy was wrong.
What i am trying to say: May be he was not wrong.
And we dont know what that guy was thinking when he left from the home.
So practically its not possible to think in a 100% diplomatic way considering all points of view , but by practising we kan achieve a level where we kan be a better thinker.
Too much of lecture :-)
No loads, life is short.
Think and enjoy......
ok, now answer my question.If you were in his place what wud u do...if it was just the academics that was the ISSUE...
Hey, if it is only academics then i think you must be knowing what i will say.....
There is no room for the one who runaway from these situations...
Then in this case its not at all a dare devil, it is a lack of determination, motivation and selfhelp.
He is a coward then. And believe me life is not such a trivial thing that you should start playing with that for such small issues. Face it with courage.
Dont need to tell you about this, you are already a very smart lady!!!!!!!
lol thanks..!! the thing u said above is what i was trying to relate to
Even i know that, but i was just trying to show you the same thing from different angle.....As simple as that :).....
right...
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