Parlez-vous Prada?

"You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that's what it's like when I see a store. Only it's better." - Rebecca Bloomwood, Confessions of A Shopaholic.

They say a woman can be won over with the perfect pair of shoes. The perfect pair of shoes that can show off her toned calf muscles or add those few inches that she thinks she lacks.
The perfect pair of shoes can bring forth the effort she has put into putting together her wardrobe. That new cinch belt that accentuates her waist above the smoothness of her perfect silk ruffle sleeved Kenneth Cole plays the most awesome backdrop against those beautiful shiny shoes.

I’m a materialistic girl. The fuchsias and the neon greens and yellows call out to me. I could be depressed out of my wits and then I walk into the store I love and they whisper “You KNOW I’m totally the colour that looks GORGEOUS on you. You want me Michelle. You NEED me.” So even though I probably have 5 other apparels in that colour, I sigh with content at that (some might call it ridiculous) purchase happily swinging my bag.

That jacket might not serve me a reasonable purpose. I would beg to differ though! It is of utmost importance to own a pretty jacket. It might not keep you warm or protect you from the wind. But it DOES make you look scrumptious. That, my friends, in a hopeless retail whore’s world, is top priority.

A purchase that makes you THINK is NEVER worth you. The minute you think about how you’ve been the worst spendthrift this month, I would say “Drop. It. Down”. Shopping is about feeling. NOT thinking. Try those aviators on, admire yourself and never turn around. You turn around and you’ll have a “Joey with food moment”. That is when Joey eats something that he shouldn’t be and its already too late and all your left with will be an “Uh-Oh!” . Your pockets definitely won’t be jingling after that.

I could walk miles gazing at the good stuff and it’s even MORE fun looking at the BAD stuff! Jesus, there are some stores that look like they have been put together by blind PMS- ing cats. Some things are SO bad, I hurry past it quickly trying hard not to look at those silver tights and that “matching” bottle green shimmering clutch.

So, the next time you see me scurrying hurriedly from a certain place. I’m either saving myself from turning into a beggar OR hoping to not lose my eyesight from the ugliness a certain outfit is emanating.